“True forgiveness is when you can say, 'Thank you for that experience.'" Oprah Winfrey
I have been stalling for weeks to compose this next blog… Why? Because I want to write about relationships! Those are insanely complex.
For some, and I am in that category, we believe that most connections help us grow in our unique human experience. We think that life is about the process and not so much about the end result. We believe that the denouement of our time on Earth is encapsulated in how we behaved all along. How do others feel in our company? Are we a soothing presence? Are we present at all? Are we listening? I could stop right now, that is how key this question is. Yes, one question, as both ask ‘Are we here, grounded and available?’ I’ll volunteer my answer: sadly, no, I am painfully aware that I am not always. However, I am encouraged by knowing that I am a work in progress. I am the best I can be today, with what I know now and trusting I am only getting better, and so are you :-)
In essence, how do we act and most importantly, how do we react? Do we affect others positively? We will have to sort it out when we leave this Earth, before our Soul moves on to other things. What is our intention throughout our journey, regardless of how it manifests? Relationships are everywhere and everything! If you wanted to avoid dealing with family or people, good luck with that :-) We can’t avoid being the social creatures that we are, so we might as well embrace our human condition.
We have bonds with intimate partners (secretly or in the open), in marriage or not, at all levels of commitment. Our significant others contribute to our spiritual development. At first, Love lures us into forming a couple. Even if we think we know who we are falling in love with, we don’t. Our subconscious/heart knows, our mind does not. Often, by the time we take our vows, we do not yet know ourselves. Every one advances but not necessarily in parallel lanes. Eventually, even if still in love, we face issues and at that point, we either agree to mature together or apart. Love is the greatest catalyst for self-actualization.
We have independent rapports with members of our family, with each child, our siblings, parents, grand-parents, cousins and so on… What about our close friends vs. acquaintances? Nowadays, we should question the nature of our relations with pals we meet in person as opposed to our online buddies. Even the quality of those social media connections may differ depending on who we are. We have different motives for requesting a friendship or accepting a request. As I said, it’s complicated!
We also have work colleagues, superiors, employees, partners, clients and service providers, people we answer to and others who depend on us. We are part of teams at the office and in various adventures. We belong to certain clubs or not. We yearn to find our tribe that may not necessarily match our social circles. Intriguing!
Many of us have strong ties with our animals in our homes or at work (farm, vet, breeding, training, service dogs, competitions etc.). In certain cases, when discussing an animal companion, I will look at the astrology house (domain) of children instead of just evaluating the house of pets.
In addition, we have attachments to neighborhoods, cities, countries. We have affiliations with certain cultures and nations. A lot of this comes from DNA imprint and we are marked by our birthplace and early years. As a result, to emancipate and blossom, some of us opt to stick around or venture far away. In the horoscope, one can grasp the meaning behind our kinship with varied locations.
In every scenario, there are astrology charts to explain the dynamics between two beings or between somebody and their animal or between a person and a place. Fascinating discoveries! The charts elucidate the metaphysical reasons for the existence of the liaisons. Who came to teach whom what lessons? Why are we drawn to or feel fated to live here or there? What opportunities does this region offer us specifically? How do distinct aspects of our personality fair in such area? The relocated charts will clarify the higher purpose behind the geography puzzles.
The most important relationship that precedes all others is the one to Self. The sooner we become clear on who we are and the issues we came to heal, the faster we will understand the character of the numerous contacts we attract in our life (people, pets, cities). As far as I am concerned, our entire reality is mystical. Our Higher Self has picked the entire cast ahead of time, we might as well flow with it. Some individuals are meant to guide and support us on our journey, some others are our elected villains, without whom we would not stretch our potential.
No path is the same as the combination of nature, nurture and emotions is absolutely unique in every case. Some are overwhelmed by challenges when others will roll with the punches. We are quick to judge but should not as difficulties are relative. The truth is we don’t know what another came to witness. Some Souls even choose a passage in the womb but prefer not to be born. Some incarnate but die soon after birth. There is every variant of testimony available…
That brings me to the topic of communication, a very important subject that is not taught at home, nor at school. What do you mean, ‘Baby doesn’t come with a manual’? It is rare that parents have already accomplished quite a bit of healing by the time they get pregnant. Most children will inherit the ways of that family with its struggles at that point in time. Hence, the endless repetition of the Human Tragedy… Direct and kind communication is our salvation.
The good news is that if the grown ups evolve and model with sincerity, the offsprings may avoid the worst manifestation of their default programming in their adult life, borrowing they introspect too. Everybody needs to walk the talk or it doesn’t work. That is precisely why our kids are our true mentors. ‘Out of the mouth of babes’ is no joke, it’s hard to face our flaws :-) If that was not enough, our teenagers hold a mirror to our behavior and parenting. Ouch!
During the pregnancy and first six years of life, the Soul soaks in the conditioning for its future life story. It is visible in the natal chart. That is why Aristotle said 'Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.' Thereafter trials and tribulations will be reinforcements of the original hurts and patterns engraved in the cell memory.
Not to feel helpless, I find the belief that my Spirit is at the commands of my life very reassuring and calming. I feel empowered by taking ownership of what happens by me and to me. I can’t blame if I am the one who selected mom and dad, brother, husband, sons, dogs, entire family, ancestors, heart connections, friends, clients etc. My Higher Being wanted the helpers in my existence as well as the ones who push my buttons so I may accomplish what I came here to do. It ain’t easy but I am continuously seeking deeper healing and feel tremendously grateful for it. I am lucky to have many loved ones.
We are all wounded to some extent, so let’s practice Compassion. Let’s realize that the bad guys we have chosen to act in our movie have also suffered and are fighting their own demons. Ultimately, we know nothing, whether we have a natal chart to look at for aid or not. Not everybody has lofty intentions, their Soul signed up to take that role. For some, they may repent on their death bed? For others, they will never apologize in this life time, they simply do not have the consciousness or the courage. The closer to home, the more painful. That is when we need reminders like the title above.
If we have dissonance with someone or struggle to set boundaries, we may somatize (express psychological distress through physical symptoms). Some of us may have skin or weight issues or knee problems. We may create inflammation (frustration, anger) or have accidents or injuries. The part of the body in pain indicates, through symbolic decoding, which aspect of the discord we need to work on. Relationship troubles are notorious in resulting with physical ailments. Even when my shortcomings come to light, they are so entrenched that I still can’t escape being affected as I progress in clearing them.
Our psychological and spiritual patterns and modes of operation are on display for the avid astrologer. It is fascinating to see how we attract people in our lives to compensate our deficiencies and to enhance our qualities. It is mind boggling that we are totally led by our unconscious in our choices. Not only, but our Soul pre-determined the circumstances of our birth to set us up correctly for the journey it needed… The only way we may overcome is by observing and self-analyzing to gain Awareness in how we respond to every one and each event. Easier said than done: Allow and Accept.
Relations are convoluted but captivating. That is why Temptation Island and The Bachelor/ette/in Paradise TV reality series, despite being very staged, have so much success!
Most of my essays so far have been about the mother of all relationships, the one to Self! I now look forward to exploring Parent-Child relations, Romantic bonds, Work connections, intimacy with our Pets etc. The list is long and I am excited!
Thank you. I choose to smile. All my love, Corinne Cévaër-Corey
Ethical Astrologer and founder of CorAwakening
For my foreign audience, here are the American TV shows I mentioned:
