What we give our attention to, grows… Let’s choose wisely.
Careful! If you spot a narcissistic person, run the other way! Or they’ll suck the life out of you. Easier said than done, many of us get caught in their enticing web…
We are drawn to them because they are charming and magnetic. They are full of life, fun and entertaining! We love being around them at first but after a while, we are depleted and exhausted. They create continuous drama to receive infinite attention. It is how they feed on others’ energy. It is all show and no substance as they do not really want to resolve the complications they cause. They feel entitled and lack empathy. Such people thrive on the tragedies (Greek or real) they produce and unfortunately many of us get hurt before we see the light.
If we notice a pattern of getting drained when around a particular person, no matter the nature of the connection, let’s cut the cord. If we cannot because they are loved ones, we must learn to communicate our needs clearly and to say no. It may be difficult at times to discern if a problem is ours or if it belongs to the self-indulged person. They often flip the situation to instill doubt and guilt for not fixing their issues. We become confused about our own feelings. Egocentric individuals are brilliant at unloading their invisible dark energy on people who need approval from them or related to them. This nuance explains why their hold can be far reaching and so damaging.
If we got burned by self-absorbed humans, it seems that we are never completely healed but can manage better with awareness. Over time, we learn to recognize the triggers and stop reacting and repeating the default suffering (anxiety, anger or sadness). It is not our job to be at one’s beck and call in their bottomless discontent, unless there is a fair exchange, monetary or otherwise. Narcissists will never value us, nor love us, they simply cannot. In general, they themselves are too wounded but have not done the therapeutic work to transform their selfish ways into being present for others.
The most powerful weapon against self centered personalities is to refuse to indulge them in their attention seeking. By removing the spotlight from them, we deprive them of our vital energy and they can no longer affect us.
Victims of narcissistic parents were well trained to cater to their every wish. Such parents act for their own benefit, to boost their ego and status. They then manipulate (consciously or unconsciously) the children to think that they are sacrificing for them. They make the kids feel guilty to satisfy their need to control them. The children are so desperate to receive their parents’ love and validation that they become who their parents want, reflecting the desired perfect image.
As we mature, it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves and our family (the one we created) first and then the needy parent. We’ll always be there for them, but the choice to help should now be conscious and take into account self preservation. Our life lesson is precisely to learn to give the unconditional love we never received.
Children come to life pure. They learn survival skills along the way that may not be angelic because their role models were not ideal. As adults, let’s avoid the trap of looking for parents’ approval and grow to find ourselves. However, it’s a vicious circle as it is difficult to know oneself when we were brainwashed to be someone else for so long. I have found Psycho/Astrology to be extremely helpful for introspection. I am still discovering aspects of myself after 30 years of exploring!
The spiritual belief that helps me deal with the tribulations of life is to trust that my Soul chose all the players in my life for the purpose of learning the lessons I came to integrate. So in truth, I can’t blame anyone for mistreating me. My Soul has a contract with their Soul to be the good or bad actors in the movie of my life. I need all of them so I may fulfill my spiritual destiny. This philosophy will not prevent fear and pain but the more conscious we are, the better off... Let’s take full responsibility for our life and transmute to a higher version of ourselves. True forgiveness is when we are able to be grateful for the experience, no matter how difficult.
What story are your Saturn and Pluto telling? If you wish to know, please book a session. E-mail at corawakening@gmail.com, I’d love it!
Thank you. I choose to smile. All my love, Corinne Cévaër-Corey
Ethical Astrologer and founder of CorAwakening
Image by Hans Braxmeier
